The Playful, Vulnerable, and Magical Child
Made conscious, the vulnerable child can often tell us who can be trusted and who cannot, by her ability to recognize the people who have disowned their vulnerable child and can therefore hurt others, intentionally or unintentionally. In contrast with her ability to end an unrewarding relationship, the integration of the vulnerable child into a relationship can encourage unparalleled intimacy and depth.
The playful child is just what the name implies—playful. She is generally easier to reach than the vulnerable child, because we are more likely to permit play than tears and pain. Stone and Winkelman note that many who are spiritually-identified have access to the playful child but not to the vulnerable child, and tend to confuse the two.
The magical child is the child of imagination and fantasy. She is, in part, the source of visions. She is usually shy.
We can reconnect with our inner child and begin re-parenting ourselves through visualizations, imaging our inner child and sending her whatever it is she needs. By viewing old experiences (through visualization processes, etc.), mourning them, and releasing them, we can replace them with what we wanted—how we wish it had been. Re-viewing the old is not re-living the original pain but acknowledging it and transforming it. The focus is not on how or why, but on the beliefs we took on at that time and how they continue to affect us. Journal writing can be another means of dialoging with the verbal inner child.
Healing requires the forgiveness of our parents, siblings, schools, or others, for what they did, or did not, do. Forgiveness does not condone or excuse, but releases otherwise locked-up energy patterns. Blame does not heal. We blame as long as we perceive ourselves as victims and see power residing outside of ourselves. To heal our inner child, we need to accept that we have the power to heal ourselves.
Because our wounding occurs in relation to significant others in our early lives, healing also requires our finding others with whom we can feel really safe, with whom our vulnerable child can emerge, with whom we can get to the heart of the wounding, and with their acceptance and love, reclaim our worth. We are wounded in the context of relationship and ultimately must be healed in the context of relationship.