1. Reflect on one or two ways in which you are hard on yourself. What do you blame yourself for? What do you feel bad or guilty about? What “mistake” in your recent past still burdens you with feelings of inadequacy or regret? Write it down here. For example: “I feel bad about overeating at almost every meal.”
2. Identify any accompanying message(s) of self hatred, personal judgments, or negative interpretations. Record those here. For example:
   The messages I tell myself about my overeating are: ‘I’m undisciplined, weak, and lazy.’
3. Ask yourself whether you really want to change that behavior or problem. If the answer is yes, the most effective change will take place if you willingly adopt a nonjudgmental attitude toward yourself. Go on to step 4. If your answer is no or maybe, read ahead anyway. It is important to accept yourself as much when you are ready to make a change as when you are not.
4. The key to compassion is honesty with yourself, about yourself. It is enhanced by a conscious intention to be compassionate with yourself and others. As you form your intention for compassion, keep in mind that compassion may not immediately arise as a feeling experience, so if you wait for your feelings to magically change, you might wait a long time. Compassion begins with a decision based in the reality of the human condition. And it is followed by the willingness and the effort to act on the basis of what you have decided. Quite simply, you make the intention to live in compassion with yourself or others, exert some effort in acting differently, just watch without judgement if you fall short of your goal, and then make the intention again.

Be patient. Your willingness to look at yourself and others in the world around you with open eyes, without defensiveness and denial, is a monumental step. Your intention to be compassionate will slowly change your mental programming and build your energy for spontaneous action. Enjoy your wellness journey.

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference. —Reinhold Niebuhr

 

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