• Adopt the attitude that feelings are natural and normal. This is a primary healing attitude. Strong feelings are not indicators of something “bad.” Feelings have no morality. They just are. Even if you are uncomfortable with them, accept strong emotions as valuable feedback telling you that something in your life is in need of attention. And the best attention is gentle acceptance. Befriend the emotional parts of yourself.
• Write about your feelings. Express and explore your feelings on paper. Write an angry letter and then tear it up, or compose a poem about your grief. There are many books and websites that suggest ways to use writing for self help.
• Draw or paint or dance your feelings. This is a healthy way to defuse potentially explosive emotions and to soothe painful ones. When you’ve expressed yourself creatively, you may have a whole new perspective on the situation and may be in a more balanced place from which to speak to others.
• Exercise vigorously. Exert yourself. Exercising, even brisk walking, will take the emphasis off the worrying mind and encourage fuller breathing, which is a powerful healer of emotional wounds. Try digging a hole and voicing your emotional pain into that hole. Then when you are finished, fill the hole back up with soil.
• Talk about your feelings. If you are confused, you can always start a conversation with a friend by saying, “I am not sure what I’m feeling,” and proceed from there. Your listeners may not have answers for you, but the process of speaking opens the door for both clarification and support.
• Change your mind. Because thoughts arouse feelings, if you change what you are focusing on or thinking about, your feelings will change accordingly. When you are feeling frightened or inadequate, remember a time when you were strong and competent and create a mental image to support that. This type of imagery is used in many healing disciplines.
• Surrender your feelings. Give them over, along with the rest of your life, to a higher power.

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