When the situation is reversed - that is, when someone talks to you about painful feelings - the respectful way to respond is to avoid trying to fix" the person with an easy piece of advice or some quick platitude. When people express their feelings or talk about their pain, they are helping themselves to gain clarity, not necessarily looking for resolution. In this situation, Gray recommends caring attention, the practice of active listening, and refraining from the cheap closure of easy advice.

Other analysts of human behavior have described our communication styles and our varying degrees of ease with emotional expression in different terms. It is good to keep in mind that our feelings are essentially our gifts and our responsibilities. We can't and shouldn't force - or even expect - others to deal with their feelings in the ways that we deal with ours.

We encourage everyone to deepen their self-awareness, self-responsibility, and self-acceptance of feeling states. We support the choice to express feelings (or to refrain from expressing feelings) in ways that bring people together rather than drive the sexes, races, differing social and economic classes, or nations, further apart. We appreciate that there will always be differences in the ways in which people and nations handle their emotional lives.

On one hand, beware of becoming an emotion junkie.

On the other hand, beware of becoming numb to your feelings!

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