The metaphysical system known as A Course in Miracles wisely suggests, I am never upset for the reasons I think." Such a confrontational statement, while not immediately obvious, hides a deep truth. While people may casually talk about "being in touch with their feelings," we are often grossly unaware of what our true motivations are and even less aware of the reasons for our hair-trigger reactions, which we then tend to sanctify by calling them our "true feelings." Given the time and attention that self-observation entails, we may recognize that our present anger is more a result of wounded self-importance, or some flashback to a time when we were misjudged or mistreated by Mother twenty, thirty, or forty years ago. Immediately acting out our anger or even "sharing our feelings" with someone else may be a perfect way to distract ourselves from - and delay - the sort of self-understanding that can only come with time and intention.

Exercise: Angry Answers

Messages I heard about expressing anger: ___________

These things/events/people stimulate anger in me: ___________

The last time I felt anger was: ___________

Is it OK for me to feel angry? ___________

I express it by: ___________

Unhealthy ways I express anger: ___________

Healthy ways I express anger: ___________

What I've learned about myself from these questions: ___________

Share with a friend.

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