Self-awareness includes physical, mental, and emotional awareness. In the physical domain, awareness is primary in learning to trust and appreciate our body. In sexuality, body trust is something that we grow into by experience. We learn to attend to where, how, when, and with what intensity the energy is moving within us. We listen to the cues the body gives about what it likes and needs to be turned on" sensually and erotically. We stay present, alert, to ourselves. The primary question becomes, "What is going on in my body now . . . and now . . . and now?"

As a child you easily played with your body; you probably enjoyed the freedom of nakedness and delighted in being held against the bodies of others, stroked, and tickled. There was no shame or fear attached to any of these activities until other people who felt uncomfortable with what you were doing began to give you messages to the contrary. As the sole inhabitant of your body, you knew what felt good to you, and you did it. But at some point you probably gave up on yourself, and began to believe that what was natural and normal for you was not acceptable.

Reclaiming this freedom - the goodness of your body - is the first step in body trust, and the basis for the living of wellness.

To say yes to the body is to say yes to all that moves through you, both pain and pleasure - and sex can be one of the most pleasant experiences you can have. Pleasure can be appreciated as your reward, not for doing something, but simply for being alive. The fact that you inhabit a body that is soft, and pliable, and covered with sensitive nerve endings, and requires touch for survival, presents a strong case for allowing yourself to accept pleasure, for celebrating the magnificent creation that your body is.

---