Any claim that leads you to question whether you are normal" should be held highly suspect and can easily be checked out with a little research or inquiry. Virginia admits that she feels inadequate because she does not have the same desires for sex that her friend Claudia has. What she may not realize is that, in addition to psychological reasons, gender orientation reasons, factors connected with beliefs and ethics, or the nature of her current relationship, there may also be hormonal reasons for her lack of sexual interest. The place to start in such a process is to clearly face the "what is" about our own needs, sensations, feelings, without judging them as bad, wrong, or inadequate. Virginia is asking the wrong question when she asks "What's wrong with me?" There will never be an answer unless she first addresses the real issue that underlies the question. The real issue is: "Why inadequate? Why guilt for feeling how I feel?"

When I stand up and say that I want to oppose discrimination against people because of their sexual orientation, it is not because I want to seem nice. It is because if I don't, everything I have done in my life will be in vain. —Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu

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